WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
