he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
