id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
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