Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
