is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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