Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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