I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
