So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
