I'm gonna have a badass scar
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
