I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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