Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
