i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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