Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize