oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize