I feel like I'm in dance class right now
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
