Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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