we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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