Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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