Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
