Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
