he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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