1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Randomize
