That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize