he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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