It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize