ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
