I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
wow bdsm is so cute
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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