You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
my liver is dry heaving
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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