I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
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