he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
