I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
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