got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Just puked most of my soul out..
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
