i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
