i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
