sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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