Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
