Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
