is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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