he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
