Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
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