Plan B is the new Plan A
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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