I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
