Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
party gras won. party gras always wins.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
