There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
