Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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