What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
