Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
