apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
