Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
