u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
