yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
