just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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