Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
