did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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