Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize