I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
