is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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