Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
