I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
porn star boner night. come get it.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
