Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
