Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
