I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize