The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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