We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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