didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
