This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
