my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
