you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
