We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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