At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
