that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize