last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
