I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
